Phyllis and me

25 January 10 14:35 in the zOhn
Tags: ben Adam l'Chavero, Equal Rights Amendment, ERA, fashion, History, nostalgia, Phyllis Schafley, respect, self, tzniut, women, yhc

(This is a post that I started more than two years ago.)

Thanks, Dave Awl @ Ocelopotamus:

After more than two decades of dormancy, lawmakers are launching a new drive to pass the Equal Rights Amendment. My fervent wish is for Phyllis Schafly to see this amendment pass before she dies. It would mean so much to her.

This is what I find interesting: Dave and I were in Illinois during the last big push for the ERA, when Illinois said no. I remember the fight for rights that seemed so obvious that one had to wonder why there was a question.

I fought for the right to be a person, if you will. To stop being exploited, to make my own choices, to be safe as an individual.

Have you looked at women, lately? Forget MTV, have you looked on the street? Of course you have–how can you not see?  Apparently, I fought for the right for women to choose to exploit themselves.

I don’t know what fashon is like in the US right now – - I’ve not been there for several years  – - although I know that a few years ago, the international fashion boards (whoever they are) named that year’s style as “slut wear”. Mm-hm.  Then we got butts.

The subject of Israeli women, et. al., is a longer discussion, as, like all Israelis, they are very bold but they suffer from a national split-personality that is excascerbated by, well, being women. The infiltration of Western culture and “style” has influenced the secular women here to take a fashion direction that I can only describe as “come and get me.” “Cheap”. The word I am looking for is “cheap”. However, I know it’s a self-esteem issue, and for that reason, I am not so much angry as just sad.

I did not fight for the right to choose to put myself on the marketing block, and then influence the rest of the world to do the same.

I had my share of experiences (ask everyone) – - some of which were only realistic in the pre-AIDS era in which I was in high school and college, and only possible because of my state of mind. (Dave, did you know that I waitressed at Big Al’s [strip bar] for a year and a half?! I met the late, great Sam Kinison there.)

Self-worth is yet another discussion, as is the topic of tzniut (tznee-oot), a word roughly translated as “modesty” but better understood as an entire concept of seeing one’s entire self. The shortcut is that it is possible to look attractive, stylish, fetching, etc., while being almost completely covered, and without fashions that look as though they were spraypainted onto the body. I, like all religious women here, do not wear pants, skirts above the knee, or sleeveless or open or short shirts, and yet, I must look good because I am still hit on, all the time . (The men here are much bolder, too, but again, another time.) In fact, you should see my gentleman friend, Moshe, whom I believe could choose anyone, and he has chosen me (think very good thoughts, please G/d).

My point is that I fought for the already-inherent right for respect as a person, and, well, Phyllis, I don’t think either of us has won.  Yet.

 

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